3 years ago
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Losing a Friend
Losing a friend is perhaps one of the hardest things to go through in this life! It is especially hard when you are left with no other option and you have exhausted yourself trying to make things work out. You cry yourself to sleep so many nights and then you wake up one morning and realize that life has to move on. I'm sorry to say I have recently been through this and would appreciate any words of advice anyone can give me. Thank you.
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sade what is going on? I feel like you need someone to talk to and I'm not there. Let me know please.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote you a big long post, and then I couldn't get it to save, cut it, and then cut something else and it's gone. Crap. :( It was really good too.
ReplyDeleteTo sum up--I know what you are going through--Seriously. I really really know how you feel. You need to get the book "It's a break up not a breakdown" (even though it's not a traditional break up). I think that you need some time of not talking to him at all., which sounds impossible probably but will actually help it hurt less, faster.
You should keep busy right now. Make a list of your goals, and things you want, or make a collage-ANYTHING--"Take a yoga class. Go to France again. Visit Jen in Milwaukee. Start a scrapbook. Sew a skirt." Then put them up, where you can see them. Put some things down that you plan to do, and some things you just dream of doing....but just YOU. What you want.
I don't believe that things happen for a "reason" per se, but sometimes we can look at situations and learn from them. I think eventually you will look back on this as a learning point, and you will be stronger for going through this.
In the meantime--try not to think about it too much. Try not to dwell on it--the good, the bad and everything in between. I have found that in life, eventually time really does heal everything. The less you focus on it, the sooner it will hit you--"Oh, I just ran into him at the mall, and I'm just happy for him. I don't want him back, I don't miss him. I miss the good times, but I have good times with other people now, and they are just as good."
This will happen. I swear. It's weird. For a while it will feel like horrid, and you will think that you can't do it, and then one day, it's just "poof". For me it took a few years, actually, but last time I saw Chris I wasn't jealous, or needy or sad. I was just happy to see him, and happy for his successes. It's taken a very long time.
I know it's really painful. Hang in there though. The sooner you make some goals and start being busy, the sooner it will pass. I wouldn't start dating yet, because of the "rebound" thing. Just give yourself time. Set a date--say May 1--to re"visit" your feelings. If you miss him by then, and can't stand it, then you can call and beg him back, or keep going or whatever you need to do. But until then think of it as a big "pause button" that you've pushed. If you can just take it a day at a time--a minute at a time--soon you will have gone a week without talking and you will feel so much better. The less you talk, the faster it will happen, I swear.
Good luck. I'm here for you, and I know your sister and friends and family are there too. Come to us and just let it go for a while, and you will be back to the new and improved, stronger yet the same Sadie that you were before all this. :)
I know how you feel. It's rough and so so so so sad! He will be missed. Love you!
ReplyDeleteSades' I'm so sorry sweety. I'm not to sure in what what you've lost your friend, but like you said, life does go on. I've had to lose many friends in my life. Sad to say, most friends to come and go. All relationships are service to eachother. If you are putting all the work/love into a relationship then the best thing to do is to let it go. If you can't be your best self in a relationship then the relationship needs to end. Again, I'm sorry. I hope that you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteWith all my love!
Thanks everyone! You have given me hope to do this hard thing! And Aure I will fill you in soon I'll try to call you when I am up at Amy's this week tending grandpa:) Love you all!
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